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She began to tell me about her past and some depression that drove her to drink heavily. After that she joined AA and had been sober for 5 years.
Had I begun the list sooner, instead of listening to the words I so wanted to believe, I would have saved myself at least a year of heartbreak.And when you are with an alcoholic, you are used to suffering in silence as the martyr, wondering why the alcoholic does what s/he does. This included that he did not go to my grandfather’s funeral, he did not come home all night long, and he brought cocaine into our home.After four and half pages of undeniable facts, I realized that there was no longer any question of whether or not I could stay with him. When you live with an addict, you are never quite certain about reality. By writing down the facts as they happened, he could not come back to me later with his own version of the truth. Soon we had our first kiss and this was turning out to be a great first date. We would ultimately wound up seeing each other for about a month. My perceptions of people with prior drinking problems was all wrong. Dating someone who doesn’t drink (recovering alcoholic) was just like dating anyone else, except they don’t drink. I met a woman through and didn’t pay any attention to the part of her profile that said she never drank. Our conversation turned more about relationships and we shared a few online dating stories. We were able to be together in many social settings where other people were drinking and she was 100% fine. She was a great person who had pulled herself out of a bad situation and had taken control of her life.