Hot and cold dating
Add to that my own inability to directly address the conversation without simply pissing her off and making her fly off the handle, and the end result was me always being uncertain of where she was at and I became hesitant, and likely to pull away if I got the impression that I was pushing the issue when she wasn’t eager. One minute you’re high on the warmth of their attention, the next minute you’re frozen out and left wondering what happened. Whether you call it push/pull, on/off, or hot and cold, the end result is the same. Whether done consciously or unconsciously, this type of behavior activates longing and pursuit. If we don’t understand the game of hot and cold, we can find ourselves pulled into a drama of confusion. Understanding this type of behavior is crucial even for those of you committed to not playing games.The root cause of this behavior is a desperate attempt to gain control over the uncontrollable; love. But the partner, who’s committed to playing safe, will never allow himself or herself to experience love.
You have dates more often, you’re in contact more frequently, and it feels like you’re heading straight for a serious relationship.Relationship hiccups occur because your partner is emotionally invested, but scared. Once stated, the hot phase normally reboots and continues with forward movement.A hot and cold player reverts to cold as the norm, with bursts of hot that don’t result in forward movement.Handling the Hot/Cold partner: The best way to handle a hot/cold tug of war is to proceed to honest questioning. If so, then you may have stumbled upon a highly sensitive and fearful individual. These are easy questions to ask when you know what you want and what you deserve. For those who are straightforward, there’s little interest in anyone who plays games.But knowing of their existence and recognizing their predictable patterns will allow your dating to be a rewarding, rather than confusing, experience.