How to handle intimidating people

These are the bullies and cads who use aggression and coercion to get their own way, or do it just for ‘fun’.Then there are people who don’t deliberately intimidate you and it’s for whatever reason, that feels intimidated.Are you struggling to understand how your working relationship is mutually-beneficial?You may be sensing that this person doesn’t need you as much as you need them, which puts this person in a perceived position of strength.Grasp why the relationship with this person is important to you both.You are not required to revere this person just because they are higher up the organization than you – that is your choice to do that (and it is a perfectly valid thing to do.) Position does not give a person the right to intimidate, nor, position is not a reason to feel intimidated. It is tempting to dis-engage and work with this person at arms length (flight response) – but this won’t solve the problem and could even make it worse for you.

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To tackle this problem, you need to understand why it is a problem in the first place.

Take a look at the relationship you have with this person and how you interact.

You’re quiet and don’t speak up to avoid being attacked. This person might even be a subordinate – somebody who works for you (believe me, this happens more than you might think.) You probably sense a lack of ‘parity’– that you don’t have the right to engage with this person at the same level.

Or this person could be a colleague – someone who uses clever words and exerts personal power or expert power that you believe you can’t compete with.

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