Questions about dating violence
Because when your partner manages to change your behavior – when you find yourself increasingly changing your usual way of being in order to avoid conflict with your partner – then they gain power and control over you. I want to talk about toxic relationships – so called because instead of nourishing your growth, as a relationship should, they slowly wither you away like poison in your system.Because I think that sometimes we get stuck in circles in our minds asking ourselves whether or not a partner is abusive, when really, we should be asking ourselves whether or not they’re healthy for us.But I can at least offer you some guidance in how to think through it – in how to decide whether or not your partner is one you want to choose to be with.I used to work as a domestic violence prevention educator.Instead, it’s a relationship where one person gains and the other person loses.We – especially women – are often taught that being a good person (and, by proxy, a good partner) means making someone else happy. You should experience growth, benefits, and joy in your relationship.In addition, if you use written screening, always sign off on form, and/or document in your records the written screening results with a dictation comment or form checkbox, to insure that you do not overlook a “yes”.
How can we tell if our relationship isn’t serving us – if it’s hurting us beyond what’s normal – and if we might be better off alone or in search of someone else? Mostly, it’s a gut feeling that something isn’t quite right and hasn’t been for a while.
That is, are they engaging in the actions that they are with the intention of changing your behavior?
Are they accusing you of cheating when you shut your phone off to have dinner with your parents, with the intended outcome being that you always answering when they call?
He wanted the Melissa that he had painted in his head, not the one standing in front of him.
Although he never caused me direct pain, physically or emotionally, he was constantly disappointed in me – and therefore distant, leaving me in a constant state of desperation. Because the truth was, despite it all, I loved him – and that love was not enough.